I Should Have Done It Anyways
by X-Candace-X-Chambers-X
Summary: Mike thinks that Justin has some serious problems and should see a doctor, Justin says hes fine. Will Justin ever get fixed?
1. What The Fuck?

Chapter 1:

What The Fuck?

Mike was laying on his bed at 12:20 A.M., he couldn't fall asleep these

days and it was killing him. His performance over the past couple weeks

have gotten worse and worse. The only thing keeping him going was that

he had Alex on-screen and Justin off-screen. They weren't dating, they

were just the greatest of friends. When Justin told him he was dating

Randy he just felt his heart breaking. But no matter what Justin would a

always go to Mike if anything serious ever happened. Mike finally fell into

an uneasy sleep.

XXX

Mike woke the next morning to a knock on his door. Mike checked the

time and it was 9:30 A.M.,

_What would someone what with me at this time?_, Mike thought to himself.

He groaned and got up and opened the door and saw Justin standing there.

''I thought you weren't going to answer.'' Justin said and Mike could tell

something was wrong.

''Justin I love being with you but what do you want?'' Mike asked.

''Uh were going out to breakfast with Alex and Randy,_ remember_.'' Justin

said.

''Oh let me go get dressed, you can come in.'' Mike said and turned

towards his bedroom.

''Be right back.'' Mike said and went to change in his bathroom. He'd

chosen a white shirt and his favorite jeans and his leather jacket. Once

Mike had gotten dressed and fixed his hair, he stepped out the bathroom

and Justin was sitting on his bed.

''Back, you missed me?'' Mike asked but Justin didn't look up from his gaze at the floor.

''J, are you okay?'' Mike asked but Justin didn't respond.

''J.'' Mike said.

''Justin.'' Mike said again

''Paul!'' Mike yelled and Justin looked up.

''Oh I didn't notice you were there.'' Justin whispered.

''Are you alright?'' Mike asked with a worried expression.

''I think so I like completely spaced out there.'' Justin said and got up.

''We should take you to a doctor,'' Mike said ''no actually Im taking you

To a trainer at the stadium, its on the way and you need help.''

''I don't need a trainer _or _a doctor, im fine.'' Justin said.

''Justin I had to yell at you to get your attention and I said you name like 5

Times, what'll you do when your in a match and you 'space out'?'' Mike

asked.

''Im taking you to a trainer in the medical field.'' Mike said and pulled

Justin out of his room.

''Whatever.'' Justin sighed. Mike all but shoved Justin into the car as he forced the young African to cooperate .

''You're a jackass.'' Justin said.

''Really? Really? Really Justin Really? Im a jackass because im helping you, but your boyfriend isn't and he probably wouldn't even notice that your getting _pale_.'' Mike said.

''Do not bring Randy into this.'' Justin warned.

''Why?'' Mike asked.

''Because you talk about him like he's trash when I love him to death.'' Justin said and Mike rolled his eyes.

''Do you love him more than me?'' Mike asked.

''Yea.'' Justin said and Mike kept his eyes on the road.

''Whatever.'' Justin said. Mike and Justin didn't talk for the rest of the drive. When they finally got there Justin ran into Randy's hug and Mike kept his eyes on the ground as Alex greeted him.

''You okay man?'' Alex asked.

''Yea _Im _fine.'' Mike growled.

''Okay then,'' Alex said and grabbed Mike's hand ''well lets scaboosh to the table.'' Mike smiled alittle and he thought Alex was gonna throw a big celebration, he loved making Mike smile and when he says scaboosh it just sounds funny, so who wouldn't smile?

''RANDAL!'' someone yelled and Mike turned to see a happy John Cena. Mike rolled his eyes.

''Yes Jonathan?'' Randy asked.

''My names not _Jonathan _its _John_.'' John said

''Okay _John _what do you want?'' Randy asked.

''To see how my best friends are doing.'' John said.

''Im fine… well until you came over then my day became bad.'' Randy said and John frowned.

''Well that was rather rude,'' John said ''im sad that you don't wanna be near me anymore.''

''Im sorry and of course I do.'' Randy said.

''So how is my other best friend?'' John asked and Justin's gaze was locked on the floor.

''Justin?'' John said and Randy slapped the back of Justin's head.

''Oh hi John when did you get here?'' Justin asked.

''I haven't moved since I started talking to Randy.

''Really I didn't notice you there.'' Justin said.

''You okay?'' John asked and put his hand on Justin's forehead ''Shit your warm, we should get you to a trainer.'' Mike did a silent celebration and Alex held back his laughs.

''I don't need one, im fine.'' Justin said.

''Justin im no doctor but I know your not fine, damn your turning pale.'' John said. Mike started doing another celebration that looked really stupid. Alex could hardly contain his laughter, but he managed to.

''I think it would be a smart idea to see a doctor, because If theres something seriously wrong with you we can get It fixed and you'll be back to work in no-time.'' Randy said.

''What if theres nothing wrong with me?'' Justin asked.

''Well then we were wrong and im sorry but I think you sick.'' Randy said.

''Okay ill go later.'' Justin sighed. Mike started doing a victory dance and mouth 'HELL YEA YOU ARE!' and Alex started laughing really hard.

''What the hell is so funny?'' Randy asked and turned to Alex and Mike. Mike was still doing his victory dance and Randy sighed.

''What the hell are you doing?'' Randy asked and Mike stopped to look at him.

''My victory dance.'' Mike said and John started laughing.

''Why?'' Randy asked.

''Its fun.'' Mike said.

''Quite frankly Mike people do victory dances when they win and you didn't win anything except the permission to stand there but _everybody _has that permission.'' Randy said.

''Really? Really? Really Randy Really?'' Mike said.

''Really.'' Randy said.

''Quite frankly _**Randal **_I don't give a damn.'' Mike said.

''YOU JUST GOT RANDALED!'' John yelled and Alex had to sit in a chair so he wouldn't fall to the ground. Mike glanced at Justin who was gazing at something that Mike couldn't quite see.

''Ill be right back.'' Justin whispered and walked towards whatever he was gazing at.

''WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP RETARD!'' Randy yelled.

''IM NOT A RETARD!'' John yelled back.

''YOU COULD WIN A GRAMMY FOR THE MOST RETARDEST PERSON ALIVE!'' Randy yelled back.

''YOUR MOM CAN WIN THE AWARD FOR THE UGLIEST PERSON ALIVE!'' John yelled.

''WHERE DO I GET MY LOOKS FROM THEN!'' Randy questioned.

''YOUR DAD'S ASS!'' John yelled but Mike slipped away before Randy could answer. Mike walked the way Justin went and saw the African slip around the corner. Justin seemed to be in some sort of a trance as he walked forward. Justin almost ran into a wall.

''Shit.'' Justin said and began searching the wall. Mike hid behind this rack and watched as Justin search for … whatever the hell he was looking for. Justin scratched at the wall as if it could open. Justin finally gave up and turned around shaking his head and mumbling to himself.

'What the fuck was he looking for?' Mike asked himself mentally and went to go check the wall himself. Mike copied the movements exactly as Justin had done them, Mike sighed unsuccessful and started to do his victory dance as he walked out of the bathroom acting as if he had been in there.

''Wheres you been?'' Alex asked.

''Bathroom duh! Retard.'' Mike said and slapped the back of Alex's head.

''Ow! I cant believe you'd slap the person who got you breakfast!'' Alex said and shook his head disapprovingly.

''Did you get me see through toast and invisible eggs?'' Mike asked, '' Cuz I do not see it anywhere.''

''Did It ever occur to you that its at the _table_?'' Alex asked.

''Well why don't we go _sit_ at the _table _instead of just _standing_ here you brainless moron.'' Mike said and walked towards Randy.

''Where's Justin?'' Mike asked as soon as he sat down.

''I don't know I haven't seen him since we met John and we started yelling at each other.'' Randy said and shrugged. Mike just nodded.

''Sorry to say _Alexander_ but im not eating, im not in the mood.'' Mike said.

''Dude! Do you know how hard I far I had to walk to get that?'' Alex asked.

''A foot.'' Mike said and smiled making Alex pout.

''Shut up.'' Alex growled.

''You could get me a coffee though.'' Mike said and Alex shot up and almost ran to the coffee machine, Randy and John burst out laughing.

''What?'' Mike asked.

''How do you not see it?'' Randy asked.

''See what?'' Mike asked.

''He likes you.'' John said.

''Really? Really? Really John Really?'' Mike asked.

''What.'' John said.

''Why would _Alex _like _me_?'' Mike asked.

''Well your extremely sexy and he'd be stupid if he didn't,'' John said and Mike blushed a bright red ''I mean have you ever seen the looks Alex gives you.'' Randy rolled his eyes and John took Mike's hands in his.

''Mike its been _years_ since I've seen you happy and in a great relationship. Your relationship with JoMo was terrible so it doesn't count as you being happy even if you say you are.'' John said.

''What John is trying to say is for you to ask Alex out. Sorry for his moronish way of saying it. I swear he comes from the land of stupid.'' Randy said and sighed.

''HEY!'' John yelled.

''DON'T START THIS AGAIN!'' Randy yelled back.

''I WAS BORN IN MASSACHSUETTS NOT THE LAND OF STUPID!'' John yelled.

''WELL EXCUSE ME! IT'S THE _STATE_ OF STUPID!'' Randy yelled.

''NO ITS NOT! I MEAN LOOK AT MISSOURI! ITS SMELLS LIKE HOLY SHIT BOMBS THERE! I COULDN'T EVEN WALK OUTSIDE!'' John yelled, ''ALSO THE PEOPLE FROM THERE ARE SUCH ASSHOLES!''

''And ass clowns!'' Chris chimed in.

''Im from Missouri and im not an asshole _or _ass clown.'' Evan said.

''Oh sure whatever you say Evvy.'' Chris said and kissed Evan's cheek.

''WELL ATLEAST MY MOM DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A FAT ASS FUCKIN PIG!'' Randy yelled.

''RANDAL!'' Phil yelled ''Will you SHUT THE FUCK UP! THERES NO NEED FOR YELLING!''

''WHAT DOES THIS EVEN HAVE TO DO WITH YOU PHILLIP?'' Randy asked.

''Its getting annoying you drinking crack fuck.'' Phil said. Alex finally came back with Mike's coffee, but when Alex walked by Randy he snatched the cup and splashed the coffee in Phil's face.

''What the fuck you stupid parasitic tape worm hypocrite?'' Chris asked.

''What?'' Randy asked.

''I was gonna do that!'' Chris said and Randy threw him a strange look.

''Im gonna look for Justin.'' Mike said and patted Alex's back.

''So I _once again_ got you something that you didn't want.'' Alex said.

''The coffee was used and ill save the toast for later.'' Mike said and crept off.

Name Address 1 Address 2 Address 3 Phone Email


	2. Life Is Cruel

Chapter 2:

Life Is Cruel

Mike went outside when he couldn't find Justin anywhere. Mike searched all around the building and when he was got to back he thought Justin wasn't outside he heard scratching on the wall. Mike slowly turned around praying it wasn't Justin and it was just some dude, but of course his prayers didn't work when he saw Justin. He looked possessed, it was scary.

"Justin what are you scratching at?" Mike asked but Justin didn't even notice his presence.

"Justin I really don't think the wall feels like being scratched." Mike said and grabbed Justin's arm. Mike had pictures playing in his mind as a scene.

**IN MIKE'S HEAD**

Justin was about 18 years old when he was running down to his house to see his dad since he just graduated. With a big smile on his face. He felt wonderful, on top of the world. When he finally reached his house and walked into the door cops were there.

"What's going on?" Justin asked.

"Who are you?" The one cop asked and pointed a gun at him.

"I live here and I was coming home to be with my dad." Justin said defensively.

"Sorry kid but your dad is dead, Im Robert by the way." The Robert said and slapped the other cop of the head for such rudeness. Justin felt so devastated and confused at the same time.

"How'd he die?" Justin asked.

"Unknown." The Robert said and ruffled his hair.

"Things'll get better kid." Robert said and left.

**IN REALITY**

Mike was surprized when the images went away. It got rid of some of his questions, but those were replaced by new ones.

"If you wanna help me don't ever tell anyone this happened." Justin said and Mike nodded. Justin collapsed to the ground.

"Call for Randy." Justin said to Mike mentally.

"RANDY WE NEED YOUR HELP BACK HERE!" Mike yelled running into the front of the café. Randy shot of his chair and ran to the back. Alex came up to Mike.

"Where've you been?" Alex asked.

"How long was I gone?" Mike asked.

"Almost 4 hours." Alex said and put his hands on his hips.

"Shit I better go help Randy." Mike said and walked away from his friend. Randy was in the back just standing there looking at something on the ground, and by the way he was standing he was scared. And Randy Orton does not get scared easily.

"Justin." Randy said quietly. He saw that Justin was standing in front of Randy. Randy slowly reached out and brushed Justin's cheek. Justin kissed Randy who was surprized. But the thing he didn't get was why Randy was so scared, or what was scaring him. Justin just wanted to kiss him obviously and he just wanted for him and Randy to be alone. Finally Justin pulled away as Randy fell on his ass and backed away.

"Justin I think you've scared him enough." Mike said and Justin turned towards him and Randy took it as his chance to run away. Mike immediately saw what had scared Randy, it was Justin's eyes. They were yellow and had a small slit like a cat's.

"So glad you came back Michael." Justin said and in a blink of an eye he was in front of Mike, who was just standing there like an idiot. Justin cupped Mike's face.

"You know I think we have a special connection." Justin said and cupped Mike's face. Mike didn't want this to happen but he could taste Justin's smell, and he was wishing Justin would move faster. Justin forcefully smashed their lips together and his tongue traced Mike's lips for entrance which he gladly allowed. Justin tasted so good and it was like an addiction. Mike knew Justin was talented, and he just added another talent to the list. Now he wondered what Justin was like when he went farther than this. Mike felt hands pulling on and raking his hair, so he forced Justin against the wall of the building. It felt perfect, it was everything Mike had wanted since he first laid eyes on Justin. But then the perfect moment ended.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" Alex yelled his question in pure anger.

"Oh my god Alex what are you doing here ?" Justin asked pulling Mike closer.

"To see if you were okay, when Randy came back he was freaked out." Alex said.

"Its its its umm." Justin stuttered trying to find the words.

"Oh I probably should go check on him then." Justin said and kissed Mike cheek and smacked his ass as he walked away.

"Hey Alex would you mind to getting my coffee I wont waste it." Mike said with a bright and innocent smile on his handsome

"Get your own damn coffee you bastard." Alex said and started to walk away.

"What the hell Lexy ?" Mike asked and Alex turned around.

"Don't ever call me _Lexy _again." Alex growled at Mike.

"Ok then. What the hell _Alex_?" Mike asked.

"Why would you kiss him knowing if Randy ever found out you would be dead. What if it was Randy instead of me who would have came out." Alex said.

"Alex Im sorry for what I did but you know I _really_ like him." Mike said and Alex let out tears.

"Really?" Alex asked.

"Really." Mike said.

"Well I _really_ **love** you but ya' know, that doesn't get you anywhere with people." Alex said and walked to his car to leave while Mike stood there feeling terrible.

_I am a terrible person, I just broke my best friends heart because I wanted to be with the one guy that I've wanted since the first day they meet, damn life is cruel. _Mike thought to himself.

Name Address 1 Address 2 Address 3 Phone Email


	3. Don't Say Goodbye

**Title: I Should Have Done It Anyways**

**Pairing: The Miz/Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater/Randy Orton**

**Rating: M**

**Warnings: Blood and murder.**

**Author's Note: So I haven't posted anything new in quite some time and last month I wasn't on at all so I decided that for my return I post a new chapter to this story since it hasn't been done in so long.**

Chapter 3:

Don't Say Goodbye

**Justin POV**

I was walking in the woods, all alone, my eyes fixed on something ahead of me. I've been searching it for years. And now it was only 10 feet ahead of me. I don't know what it is, and I don't know what it will do but my feet keep guiding me to it telling me it will help. It seems kinda foolish though. My father was murdered years ago, but yet I still search for revenge on that who would kill such a wonderful man. Especially someone of his age and everything he has done to our village that some cold hearted bastard would kill him in his own living room knowing it was the day of his oldest son's graduation. He was well needed in our family to survive. My younger brother was only 3 years old, he couldn't take care of the house. He couldn't hunt. My mother couldn't do it because she died at my younger brother's birth. My sister couldn't do it since she was still young herself. So who was left to do it? Me. I couldn't leave my brother and sister to live by themselves. No, I would never forgive myself. So I was forced to send them away to get adopted by another family. It was a rule in South Africa that the father must be of 20 years of age and older. Of course I was only 18 and couldn't legally be there guardian. I never say them again, never heard from them again. When I visited for the first time in years during my career in TNA I looked for them, asked everyone I knew where they could be. No one knew. Then I received a letter in the mail saying that their bodies were found in the forest, lifeless, the blood drawn from them. All the bones were broken, they lay in painful angels. The next week my aunt died of breast cancer. The only person left in my family was my 72-year old uncle, and I promised I wouldn't let him go until I knew it was his time. I spent a year in South Africa with my uncle, staying by his side to protect him. But one day, my uncle was asleep and I went outside for some air. I saw one of my old friend Dakota, we talked for about 30 minutes about important things and things I've missed and my adventure traveling around the world. Suddenly there was a loud scream and a thud. I ran for the door and almost collapsed at the sight. The ran over to my uncle.

"Oom. Oom iets sê Jy kan nie laat my nou. Asseblief oom, jou alles wat ek verlaat het. Jy kan nie verlaat nie.(Uncle. Uncle say something you can't leave me. Please, uncle, you are all that I have left. You can't leave)" I whispered, the hot tears running down my face. He had no heartbeat. I couldn't save him. He was gone. Just like that. My entire family was dead. I was the only one. No one would be there for the holidays. No one would be there to celebrate my birthday. No one would be there to remember all the stupid things I did as a child to embarrass me in front of my boyfriend or friends. No. No one. I was all alone. No one would ever be my family. I took my uncle's hand and pressed a small kiss on the fist.

"Vaarwel oom. Ek sal altyd van jou dink. Stuur die familie my liefde in die hemel." ("Goodbye uncle. I will always think about you. Send the family my love in heaven.") I whispered before getting up and walking out.

Now I was chasing after the man who caused me and my family so much torture. I was hunting him down to find answers and to kill him by hand. I would not fail. No. I will not let that happen. Its like I'm Chuck Norris in World Of Warcraft. I can _not _fail. Its not an option. This is a once in a life time opportunity. And now I was here. A light was in front of me.

"Jong seun, kniel en sê vir my jou naam." ("Young boo, kneel down in front of me and tell me your name".) the light said. I obeyed immediately.

"My naam is Paul James Lloyd Jr. ("My name is Paul James Lloyd Jr.") I said.

"Hoe kan my dienste u help?" ("How can my services help you?") the light asked. It sounded like a female so I assumed that the owner of the voice was of a beautiful young woman.

"Jare gelede het my pa vermoor is, dan is my broer Manuel en suster, Kayla, en die laaste van my hele familie is dood as gevolg van die natuur en die moet hierdie man te vind om te weet hoekom hy dit gedoen het en self dood te maak hele lewe het ek het probeer om hom of haar te 'n stuk terug in my gebroke hart, want daar is niemand in my familie, maar myself en ek is bang dat ek die laaste sal moet dit eens en vir altyd te was 12 friggin 'n jaar en ek is moeg van die wil om te weet hoekom of wat ek dit kan wil ek weet en ek sal vir hulle 'n lewe is net 'n persoonlike wraak, wat net jy kan gee as jy wil, mevrou." ("Years ago my father was murdered, then my brother Manuel and sister Kayla, and last my uncle. My whole family is dead because of nature and this serial killer. I need to find this man to know why he did it and personally kill them. My whole life I have been trying to find him or her. To put a piece back into my broken heart for there is no one left in my family but myself and I'm afraid that I will be the last. I need to settle this once and for all. Its been 12 friggin' years and I'm tired of wanting to know why or wishing I could change it. Now I want to know and I will end their life. Its only a personal revenge that only you can grant if you would, ma'am.") I answered.

"Staan." ("Rise.") the woman voice said. I got up from my knee and stood with my shoulders straight and a serious expression. The light turned into a shape of a beautiful woman. But it was a spirit since it flickered. She had long blonde hair that touched her elbows. Her eyes looked pale blue. She wore a long dress that went to her ankles, it was the kind you would wear to bed. She stood on the ground barefooted.

"My naam is so het Paulus, sê jy dat 'n moord jou familie ja, ek het gehoor van hierdie kan ook toelaat dat jy hom dood te maak nie, maar vir 'n prys." ("My name is Upharine. So Paul, you say that a murder killed your family. And yes I have heard of these cases. I also can allow you to kill him but for a price."). Upharine said.

"Enigiets." ("Anything.") I said without a moment hesitation.

"Jy moet jou eie voordat ek sal jou hart stop, sal jy gee geboorte aan 'n pragtige baba , jy hoef nie jou keuse om voort te kan by diegene wat jy liefhet." ("You must give up your own life. But before I will stop your heart, you will give birth to a beautiful baby boy. Now, you don't have to continue your choice. You can live. Stay with the ones you love.") Upharine said.

"Is dit die enigste opsie?" I asked.

"Ja. Ek is jammer." ("Yes. I'm sorry.") Upharine answered. I gulped. If this was my only chance at revenge and it involves dying. Then so be it.

"Ek sal dit doen." ("I'll do it.") I said.

"PAUL!" I heard someone yell, I knew that was either Mike or Randy. I saw my family's faces flash before my eyes, every moment I spent with Randy, my friends, my career in TNA, my kiss with Mike, and what my future would have been. I collapsed to my knees and I felt something go through my chest. It didn't hit my heart, but it was awfully damn close.

"Ek het dit gedoen omdat jy nie my liefde." ("I did it because you wouldn't love me.") A voice whispered next to me ear.

"Jy seik bastard." ("You sick bastard.") I said, blood gushing out of my mouth. The stranger chuckled. What did he mean I didn't love him? And then I realized it. There was a guy in high school who was so in love with me, but I didn't love him back. His name was…. Chris! I don't remember his last name.

"Al wat ek wou was een nag alleen saam met jou, in my een van hierdie sou gebeur het as jy net sou 'n mooi klein slet is en aan die slaap geraak met in jou familie die lewe sou wees en sou jy nie nou sterf." ("All I wanted was one night alone with you, in my bed. None of this would have happened if you just would of been a nice little slut and slept with me. Everyone in your family would be alive and you wouldn't be dying now.") Chris growled. He took the knife out of my chest and I slumped to the ground.

"Jy het nog een kans." ("You still have one chance.") Chris said and a smirk graced his facial features.

"Ek sal _nooit _by jou slaap." ("I will _never _sleep with you.") I hissed.

"Het dit op jou manier." ("Have it your way.") Chris said, shrugged, and walked away. Suddenly a painful wave vibrated through my chest. I screamed in pain and I heard feet shuffle behind me. I was curled into a ball and my hand clamped over the spot that the blood was coming out of. I looked at my hands and saw the pool of blood that was spreading across the ground.

"PAUL!" I heard Mike yell. He was just a couple feet away. It seemed distant though. I started twitching. Suddenly it felt like acid had been poured on me. I screamed again. I hardly heard it as my eyelids started flickering and my heartbeat slowed more and more.

There were voices everywhere, I couldn't make out any of them because everything was moving so fast. But one voice was understandable. So close. I never wanted it to stop talking.

"Paul don't leave me." Heath said. His hand was tight around mine. I felt his hot breath against my skin for he sat so close. I reached my hand up and brushed away his ginger hair. I love his ginger hair.

"I'll leave when you stop being so stupid." I whispered, making sure only he could hear me. He smiled and pressed his lips against my hand.

"Is there something I can do?" Heath asked, I felt his tears brush against my hand as they slid down his face.

"Kiss me." I whispered and he quickly pressed his lips against mine. I kissed him back with all my force and passion.

"I love you." Heath whispered.

"I love you too." I whispered. I heard the ambulance in the background, not that it mattered. All that mattered was that I never let go of Heath's hand.

***TBC***


	4. The Staircase

**Title: I Should Have Done It Anyways**

**Pairing: The Miz/Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater/Randy Orton**

**Rating: M**

**Warnings: Pain and tears.**

**Author's Note: Since I have brought you this amazing story, in return I would like a suggestion on a story that you have read that you liked quite well. Mainly something that involves Glee and WWE, anything else I'll consider but it wouldn't be so helpful.**

Chapter 4:

The Stairway

**Justin POV**

My eyes closed, I felt hands pick me up and them place me on a cold stretcher. Everything was moving so fast, and yet so slow. As if everything was in slow motion, moving picture by picture. While going fast as if you put it on fast forward. It didn't feel right. But one question kept racing through my mind.

_Is this how it feels when you die?_

If it is then I really hate that son of a bitch for causing my family to go through this. Oh wait until I get my hands on him.

_I can haunt him as a ghost._

Its as if someone is in my head speaking to me. I wonder if this is what Randy has to go through everyday. Hearing someone talk to you but yet not know who they are.

Speaking of Randy, I will never hear his song again. Our song. Every lyric hurts more and more as I make sense of them.

_You got your rules and your religionAll designed to keep you safeBut when rules start getting brokenYou start questioning your faith_

**No religion could save me, and there were no rules.**

**Nothing will keep me safe.**

**All rules were broken.**

**I question if I will ever get my revenge on this bastard or if he will simply get away with everything because I didn't sleep with him.**

_I have a voice that is my saviorHates to love and loves to hateI have the voice that has the knowledgeAnd the power to rule your fate_

**I have no savior.**

**This sick person hates to love and loves to hate since he obviously wants sex, and nothing more.**

**This man has no knowledge onto how bad his life is going to get.**

**I rule my own fate, and my fate was to be killed by the man who killed the rest of my family to end the Lloyd family name.**

_I hear voices cryingI see heroes dyingI taste the blood that's dryingI feel the tension rising_

**The voices of the murdered are crying.**

**All heroes are dying.**

**All blood was spilled into the grass.**

**And this tension and anger is rising**.

_All the lawyers are defenselessAll the doctors are diseaseAnd the preachers all are sinnersAnd the police just take the greaseAll you judges you are guilty_

**No lawyer will arrest this man.**

**No doctor can save me.**

**No preacher will ever help with my revenge.**

**No police will find him.**

**All the judges are guilty for just sitting on their lazy asses and doing nothing!**

_I see darkness fallingI hear voices callingI feel justice crawlingI see faith has fallen_

**The darkness is falling as my life comes to an end.**

**All the voices around me don't matter.**

**No justice will be served.**

**All faith is gone.**

I felt a hand squeeze mine and I opened my eyes to see the gorgeous features of my Randy. His eyes were puffy and tears streamed down his cheeks. He pointed to his eye, made an "L" over his heart, and pointed at me. I smiled weakly. I slightly made to same motions, ending mine with a 2. He smiled under his tears, he wasn't smiling because he was happy. He was smiling because he knew that I loved him even though it was the last moment we'd ever be together. I looked deep into those grey eyes, and something snapped in me.

I'm going to live.

For me.

For Randy.

For Us.

For my family.

For my friends.

For my career.

For the ones that look up at me.

To prove I'm invincible.

And to show that even a knife through the chest would not kill me.

I will _not _fail.

Failing is not an option.

I was not gonna just lay here and caress these final moments.

No.

I am going to live until my time comes.

And my time is not know.

I will _never_ fail.

Its against everything I've ever stood for.

Living would start a new revolution.

That some can be invincible if they chose to life.

"Paul, if this is out final time together-" Randy began but I cut him off.

"This is not our final time together." I stated. Randy chuckled softly and shook his head. He lent down a place a soft kiss on my lips. This was much better than Heath's kiss.

"It seems that I'm losing you. Mentally and physically. Everyone wants a piece of my Paul." Randy said quietly. I squeezed his hand.

"Well when you have someone as amazing as me, you should get used to it." I joked and Randy smiled that crooked smile that I love so much.

"I wanna hold onto this moment forever. To always know that we can just be friends, but yet so hopelessly in love." Randy said and I gave a weak chuckle.

"Well its nice to know that no matter how insane I am that you'll always be there." I said and Randy brushed my cheek and lent down for another kiss. This one was rough, putting all the passion and love we had into it. It lasted for the remainder of the 5 minutes ride to the Emergency Room. When the door was opened Randy hesitated a bit before pulling away. He looked at me with teary eyes before the retards pulled me out. I knew that he would be coming out right after me, but I can't look into those beautiful eyes that always bring me comfort. I closed my eyes not wanting to see what awaits me. I felt exhausted and I just wanted to sleep. So I drifted off into the unconsciousness.

xxx

I awoke some time later. A bandage was placed of the place where the knife struck. I sighed relief.

I made it.

I'm living.

I'm alive.

My life did not end.

I could live with Randy.

I could continue down whatever road life had in store for me.

I let out a little squeal and smiled.

I started to get out of bed when I noticed the cords connected to a beeper thing. I pulled them out and bit my lip at the small pain. I walked out of the room into the lobby, it was completely empty so I walked quickly out into the cold night. I didn't know where my feet were taking me, but they do. I tried to focus on the dark in front of me. Soon I started to stumble as I reached a building. It was either an apartment building or it was a hotel building. But I knew this is where Chris lived.

_And. Chris. Will. Die._

I walked into the building, seeing that it was for sure a hotel building. But I knew this place too much. Too well. It was so familiar.

This is where the superstars were staying!

Oh my god, what if he's done something to Wade, or Heath.

Or Randy.

If he did I will make it my pleasure to make him die slowly, painfully.

Watch him bleed to death.

The life drained out of his eyes.

Exactly like he wanted to do to me.

I walked up the staircase. Gazing at each door.

_21, 23, 25, 27, 29, 31. 33, 35, 37, 39, 41, 43, 45._

I reached the room. And slowly opened it. No sound was made. I stepped inside and softly closed the door behind me. This room smelled like he did, as if he has been here for quite some time. His jacket was on the coat hanger. His boots by the door. His knife on the counter. I grabbed the weapon and walked to the bedroom. I heard a light snore. I slowly pushed open the door.

"Heuning?" ("Honey?") Chris asked, not fully awake.

"O ja, sy my Chris." ("Oh yes, its me Chris.") I said, putting much venom into my voice as I said his name.

"Verander jou gedagtes oor die slaap met my?" ("Change your mind about sleeping with me?") Chris asked.

"O, ek het 'n baie beter idee." ("Oh, I have a much better idea.") I answered, I raised the knife and approached the bed where he lay with his eyes closed. I quickly turned him over.

"Holy shit, ek dink dit beteken dat die hoere kan word as ek jy was, wil ek net jou skanky gat in my bed en 'n goeie teef." ("Holy shit, I guess this means that whores can be smart. But if I were you I'd just get your skanky ass into my bed and be a good bitch.") Chris said with a smirk. I shook my head and shoved the knife deep into his stomach. I pressed my lips against his to keep him from shouting.

"So, wat fokken wat?" ("So, who's fucking who?") I answered with my own smirk. Soon my mouth gaped open and blood was flowing out of it. I closed his eyelids and left. I slowly walked down the staircase and left the building, quickly returning to the hospital and laying down as if nothing ever happened.

***The End***

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